I Will Never Doubt Again
by Goat Woman
Summary: FLUFF!!!! Ok, Draco tries to leave Harry because of his father. Not everything goes according to plan. It is good. read it please. please..????


**DISCLAIMER:** They aren't mine. They never have been. Never will be. This is M/M slash. If you don't like that, still read it. It might broaden your tiny mind you insensitive GIT! Anyway, enjoy! This IS FLUFF!!! Please review…I crave them.

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**I Will Never Doubt Again**

"You think that I asked for any of this Harry? You think that I wanted to be this way? Well, I didn't. Just like you didn't ask for what you got out of life. So DON'T! Don't try and act all heroic and say that I can fight. I can't fight it. I can't fight him. So don't make me feel guilty. I have no choice. Please don't make me say this again. This fight. We've done this so many times, but you always made me forget about what I would eventually have to do. My father…look, Harry… no, I have no choice…no choice."

"Oh, I'm sorry Draco, but I thought that we were worth more than this. More than some stupid little fling that you could just toss aside. I gave up things for you. I made myself believe that every time that you tried to leave me that it was for the best, and I still believe that. I know, you think that you have to give in but you don't. This is the wrong choice and I can't let you make it. And don't say that it has nothing to do with me. I know that it does. I won't let you leave and ruin your life, you chances at happiness. Do you think that I haven't wondered as well? Do you think I haven't wondered what it would be like to be honest with my friends? I haven't been honest with them since 5th year, all for you. Ron would hate me, and I let that happen for you. I let myself become friends with you, then I fell in love with you."

"It's not that easy Harry! I can't do this. Not anymore. My father, look, we can't. I knew that this would happen, I have tried so many times to keep away from you, and I can't try anymore. I don't have any choice. We both have different lives…different expectations of us, and having what we have, it's impossible. And I hate it. I hate that I can't have everything, but I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting for something that I can never have. It's a battle with myself that I can never win. No one knows, and they can't. And I have to go back home and my father will let God knows what happen to me. I can't Harry. I have no choice."

"You're just saying that to make yourself feel better about a decision that you've already made Draco. And please, don't tell me that this is for the best. How would you know? For two years I have been with you. I loved you, trusted you. And no matter how many times you tried to leave me or I tried to fight it we ended up together. And you do have a choice, just like I do. I choose to risk friendships; I choose to risk my life by trusting a Malfoy. But it doesn't matter because when I'm with you…it just fits. And you can't say that you are complete without me Draco, you can't. Don't try to make yourself feel better by just accepting defeat. And if you do, you aren't who I thought you were."

"Oh really Harry? Then what am I?"

"I thought that you were full of love, faithfulness, Determination. I know that you USED to be. I'm lucky that I now know what you REALLY are. Its too bad that I didn't realise before I fell in love with you."

" Harry, don't treat me like this is all my fault. Do you think I'm happy about this? Knowing that I'm giving you up to serve some pathetic Dark Lord. You look at me like I'm trying to hurt you! DON'T! I hate that you do this. Every time that I have tried to leave…something in your eyes, it says everything. And it hurts more than anything that you could ever say. This is all about choices Potter. Choices. And this is one time when I only have ONE!"

"Don't patronise me. HOW DARE you patronise me! God Draco, it's still all about you! Do you even think how these little mood swings have affected me? I used to fear seeing you…I used to think that every time that I saw you, you would try to leave me…that I would lose you. And if I lose you it's like I am losing myself. Could you do that to me?"

"Harry, you saw my father when he came…my mother. She…no one knows Harry. What I've gone through. You read the letter that he sent yesterday. I can't avoid this. I can't just pretend, or let you protect me. This is one thing that I can do myse"

"To what? Be brave? Please, spare me. I'm only brave when I have to be. When it's for something that I believe in. I used to believe in us. I used to think…well, imagine, that we would be together….for…ever. Stupid really. I should have known that you would move on. Every time that we kissed it would be like I had die…but in a good way, like I was in paradise and I didn't care I died. Leave me then Draco. This is just too much for me. You just walk in…and think that I'll understand?"

" Harry, you think that this is what I wanted? All I want is to fall into your arms and let you hold me. Just hold each other. Let everything feel perfect again. But I'm too scared Harry. I don't know what my father wants, what your friends will do if they find out. I don't even know if you would stay with me. I need my father. I used to dream of being like him. So rich. so powerful, so magical. He's an amazing wizard Harry. Terrible, but amazing. I need the security. I want, no, I need that. I'm not like you. I dream…of…my life like that. Or I did…"

"Well Draco, that's beautiful. Because all I dream of in my life is spending it with you"

"Harry…"

"Spare me all of this tortured soul crap Draco. You're above it. Just leave if you are going to do this to me. Please, I can't take you acting like it is all completely out of your control."

"Don't act like this Harry. I want you. And for he rest of my life I won't believe that I gave up all that I ever need. You. But right now, it's the right thing. I'm destined to do this. I love you. Me leaving you, it'll be better in the end. You know it in your heart. And…if I stay with you now…I love you too much to try and leave again. What if I hurt you? This is something that you forget. But what if I stay? You will start to hate me because all of your friends will leave you. And slowly, whatever happens, it will get worse. It'll hurt you. And if I hurt you again, I think I'll die. So please Harry, let me walk away. You'll forget me. Do you know how much it hurts to say that? The thought burns into my very soul. But I…let me walk away from you. Away from hurting you"

You think that your leaving won't hurt as much. Every day without you would be like Hell. You can't hurt me Draco because YOU ARE ME! Anything that you ever do I will forget. God, I probably wouldn't even notice because I love you!"

"I NEED MY LIFE HARRY!!! I don't know why, but I feel lost. And taking the easy option…it's the easiest way to find a part of me"

" I'm a part of you, and you've already found me. Isn't that enough?"

" What if you need me and I'm not there?"

" I close my eyes and you're with me Draco."

""Harry, how can I stop being afraid? My father, my mother, their STUPID ideas for MY future. I don't need that. I don't know what I need…"

" I want you to listen to me Draco. You never needed your father. You never needed the money or the magic or the power. You don't need that. It's not essential you know. Draco, you don't need anyone! Do you know why? Because you have yourself. That's all you'll ever need. Because it's perfect."

" Harry, you're wrong."

"No. You don't need that. And you don't even need me if it comes down to it! Because you are IT. I don't even know what IT is. But all you need is you"

"No…"

"Draco trust me. please, I ca…"

"Harry you're wrong. I may have myself but I DO need you. That's why this choice is somet…"

"Make it. Choose. Here and now. Me. You. Your father. Just look into yourself, it's all you need to do. But this is it Draco. After this, that's it. You have to live with it. Because I can't waste my life hoping you'll come back."

" You want me to choose? I have. I decide so long ago but I didn't notice. I fought it. I fought to keep you. Harry, I'm sorry…"

"I can't believe th…"

""I'm sorry that I didn't tell you long ago. I've kept hoping about us. When…I should have told you. You didn't have to keep hoping about our relationship."

"Don't Draco. I can't hear this. I ca…"

"I should have made sure that you knew. Knew that hoping was pointless because we would always be together. We don't have to hope anymore, we just belong. We never needed hope. We had each other. And always will. Don't cry Harry. I've tried so hard to stay with you that I didn't notice that I just…did stay with you. Without having to try, without feeling that I needed to explain it to myself. I just needed you all along."

Draco looked into Harry's eyes before pulling him into a tight embrace. Not wanting to let go. Harry pulled away from Draco and whispered,

"Are you sure that you need me Draco?"

"Harry, I will never doubt that again."

Harry smiled and pulled Draco close.

"There will never be a need"

~fin~


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